LA crisis
by PrincessTiva
Summary: When Tony has to go on an assignment in Los Angeles, how will Ziva react? How will they deal with being apart? And what will Ali do to help them cope? Part of the Alison Series. Tiva all the way! Somalia conversation starts in Chapter 10. (now up)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Heeey thereee :) Um, first of all "HAPPY ELECTION DAY" to the US and DON'T FORGET TO VOTE! (thanks! :D)  
Secondly, thank youuuuuuu for all your kind reviews for the last Alison story "Memories" :) That meant a lot :)  
Soo, as basically all of you asked for it: here's the next story in the Alison Series :) LOTS OF TIVA in this one! :) oh and mentions of NCISLA :D  
Summary: When Tony has to go on an assignment in LA, how will Ziva react? How will they deal with being apart? And what will Ali do to help them cope? Part of the Alison Series. Tiva!  
Disclaimer: blablablablablablabla I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters (and in this special case, I don't own NCIS LA or any of it's characters either!). BUT I FREAKING OWN ALISON AND THE STORYLINE! :D YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!  
Enjoooy reading! :)))  
**

* * *

_**And now get out your party hats because we gotta celebrate!  
This is the 10th story in the Alison Series! :) **_

* * *

Tony walked into the apartment and closed the door behind him. He kicked off his shoes and dropped his backpack to the floor. Then he walked into the living room where Ziva and Ali were sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Hey Tony.", Ali greeted him and he smiled at her. Ziva turned off the television and turned to face her boyfriend. "How did your meeting with Vance go?", she asked.

Tony looked down and said: "We need to talk." Ali raised an eyebrow and Ziva seemed to be a little uncomfortable all of a sudden. Tony sighed and placed a chair in front of the couch, sitting down on it and facing Ali and Ziva.

"Tony, what happened with the Director?", Ziva asked. "I have to go on an assignment in Los Angeles. I'll be working with the NCIS team there.", Tony blurted out. "When do you leave?", Ali questioned.

"Vance wants me to leave tomorrow.", he said. "For how long?", Ali wanted to know next. "One month.", Tony whispered. "One month?", Ziva exclaimed, jumping off the couch. "Are you kidding me?!", she shouted.

"Ziva, please. I'm not happy about it either.", Tony tried to calm her down. "Then why did you take the assignment?", she questioned. "I had no choice! I turned down too many assignments in the last few months. I would have lost my job if I hadn't taken this one.", Tony explained.

"You never told me about any assignments!", Ziva accused. "There were plenty but I turned them all down.", he told her. "Why?", Ali asked. "Because of you two.", Tony whispered.

"So now you're leaving.", Ziva stated bitterly. Ali knew that it was about time for her to leave so she quietly sneaked out of the living room, leaving the two adults on their own.

"Yes, Ziva. It's LA now.", Tony said. Ziva sat down again and covered her face with her hands. "Ziva, what's wrong?", Tony asked concerned as he knelt down in front of her.

"Are you seriously asking me what's wrong? You're gone to LA for one month! That's what's wrong!", Ziva exclaimed. "Zi, it's one month and then I'll be back.", he tried to calm her down.

"Will you?", Ziva questioned. "What's that supposed to mean?", he wanted to know, really confused now. "Abby told me about this really pretty woman who works for the NCIS in Los Angeles. And I'm sure there are others in LA as well.", she accused.

Her words hurt Tony deeply. Even after all their time together she was obviously still afraid to loose him and didn't trust him enough. It was something Tony couldn't understand.

They had talked about that when Ali had been in hospital. She knew that he was only waiting for her to be ready to get married – or engaged. It wasn't like he didn't want to, he was just taking care of her.

It hurt that she apparently didn't trust him. "I'm not that guy anymore. You of all people should know that.", Tony said, clearly hurt and upset. "How can I be sure?", she accused again.

"Ziva, I would _never_ cheat on you. I can't loose you, Ziva. I love you.", he told her. He grabbed her left hand and kissed the ring there which he'd gotten for her. It was supposed to be a promise that he'd wait for her.

"I can't live without you.", he reminded her. "When I'm in LA I won't be happy. I'll just do my work like a robot. Zi, when I'm not with you my life is a mess.", he went on.

"Call me every day, okay?! Otherwise I won't be able to bear it.", Ziva murmured. "I promise, Zi.", Tony said as he leaned in to kiss her. "We still got tonight though.", Ziva suggested. Tony grinned: "That we do."

* * *

**A/N: Boooom there you have it :D Please leave a comment and let me know what you think! Thank you in advance! :) (I also love to hear suggestions for the upcoming chapters! :D)  
Next chapter should be up tomorrow if everything goes as planned :D  
Love y'all!  
~ C.  
P.S. Keep your party hats on for the entire story ok?! :DD #AlisonCelebration :D  
P.P.S. I'm serious, US citizens, GO VOTE! It's important! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank youuuu for your favorites, follows and reviews :)) I really really reaaaally appreciate that :)  
Sooo, here's the next chapter. It's HEAVY TIVA! And probably a strong T (nothing more though, promise!). I hope you don't mind :D It's usually not really what I write for them but yeaaah (and NO again! It's not them jumping into bed with each other!).  
Ok, anyway, I should probably stop talking haha :D Just read and enjoy! :D  
**

* * *

When the movie came to it's end Ziva stood up to bring the dishes to the kitchen but Tony grabbed her wrist and spun her around, his lips attacking hers. Ziva gave in as she started to kiss him back passionately.

Tony pressed her in the nearest wall, trying to get as close as possible. "Ali.", Ziva managed to say between kisses. "She's probably asleep besides she wouldn't mind.", Tony murmured as he leaned his forehead against hers.

He started tugging on Ziva's shirt and she raised her arms so he could pull it off. Next Tony carefully unbuckled her belt, trying not to move too fast. He knew that one wrong or too fast move could scare Ziva off and hurt her deeply.

Ziva reached down to push her pants off and stepped out of them. As she started to unbutton Tony's shirt he kissed her again, deepening the kiss. After she was done with the buttons she pushed the shirt off his shoulders and unbuckled his belt to push down his pants as well.

Tony allowed his hands to roam her body. "You are beautiful.", he whispered in her ear, causing a shiver to run down her spine. Ziva's hand tangled in his hair as she tried hard to hold back the moan that was close to escaping her lips.

"Bedroom.", she eventually breathed. Tony picked her up and carried her to their room, allowing her to sit down on the bed. He stood in front of her and slowly leaned in to press a feather light kiss to her lips.

"I love you.", he told her, his voice almost cracking. "I love you, too.", Ziva whispered as she pulled him down for another passionate kiss. Tony pushed her down onto the bed and crawled on top of her.

He started kissing her neck and jawline and when he reached her collarbone Ziva couldn't help but moan his name. He moved his lips up again to kiss her lips softly but she had other plans.

Her hands found the hem of his boxers and she tried to push them down. Immediately Tony broke the kiss, staring at her as he tried to catch his breath. He grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"No, Ziva.", he told her. He rolled off of her and lay down next to her, facing her. "I know you're not ready and I don't want you to think that you need to do this to make me come back to you.", Tony murmured.

She turned her face away from him so he wouldn't see her tears. "Ziva, I love you. I promised you that you're the only one for me, remember?! And I don't care about anything else as long as I'm with you. Ziva, please, you gotta believe me.", Tony said as he wrapped his arms around her.

As he noticed her tears he quietly added: "Please look at me, Zi." She slowly turned to face him and it broke his heart to see her so upset. "I thought you..", Ziva started but he cut her off: "I thought we were clear about this. I respect your fears, I get it. And I'm fine with that. I love you just the way you are. I wouldn't trade this for anything."

"Tony, I just don't wanna loose you.", she whispered. "You'll never loose me.", he said, kissing her on the forehead. She nodded and quietly murmured: "Okay." Tony smiled as he gave her a soft and loving kiss.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?", Ziva quietly asked as she traced patterns on his chest. "At 9.", he murmured. "What's your assignment about anyways?", Ziva wanted to know.

He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and said: "I can't tell you. You know that." She nodded understanding. "It's no undercover work though, right?! You don't have to gain someone's trust by hooking up with her, right?!", Ziva questioned, fear evident in her voice.

He placed his thumb under her chin to make her look at him, then he gave her a gentle kiss. "Nothing like that. I promise.", he told her and she smiled relieved. He kissed her again and whispered: "Go to sleep, okay?! I'll be right here by your side when you wake up."

She gave him a feather light kiss and snuggled up to him, resting her head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat and to be as close as possible. "I love you, Tony.", she whispered. He tightened his hold on her, almost desperately, and murmured: "I love you, too, Zi."

* * *

**A/N: What do you say? :D As I said, this is not usually what I write. So, pleaseee leave a comment! Any kind of feedback (constructive critisism too!) is appreciated! Thanks in advance! :)  
Love y'all!  
~ C.  
P.S. YAAAAAAAAAAY OBAMA! :D  
P.P.S. Did y'all know that ZIVA IS TONY'S LOVE INTEREST IN SEASON 10? :D Read my tumblr for more information :D .com :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: whooo thanks for all of your kind words again :) You ROCK! :D  
Sooo, here's the next chapter and I hope you like it :) It's basically the next morning :)  
Enjoy reading!  
**

* * *

The next day Ziva arrived to work after the team's lunch break. She hadn't been at work in the morning and Gibbs was probably really mad at her that she was this late and hadn't even called him to excuse herself.

As she walked into the squad room Gibbs gave her a stare that clearly demanded an explanation. "I'm sorry, Gibbs. I took Tony to the airport and..", she tried to explain but her voice cracked as she realized yet again that Tony was gone for a whole month.

Gibbs noticed that something was utterly wrong and walked over to her, pulling her into a hug. Now was not the time to act like a boss and be mad at her for being late.

Now was the time to act like a father and be there for her. "What's wrong, Ziva? Why did you take him to the airport?", he asked softly. "Gibbs, didn't someone tell you?", she sobbed.

"Tell me what?", Gibbs wanted to know. "Tony is gone for one month. The director send him on an assignment in LA.", she told him, crying even harder. "Oh, Ziva.", Gibbs whispered as he gently caressed her hair, hugging her tightly.

"I miss him, Gibbs.", Ziva said as she finally let go of Gibbs and managed to control her tears. He smiled sadly and brushed away her tears. "I know. But we're all here for you, okay?! And Tony will be back in no time.", he assured her.

"Thank you.", she whispered, giving him a warm smile. Just as she was about to say something else her cellphone rang. She grinned happily. "It's Tony.", she declared.

Gibbs smiled and signaled her to go somewhere more private and to take her time. She gave him a thankful smile as she headed for the staircase to answer the phone.

* * *

[phone call]

Tony: "Ziva, I'm so glad to hear your voice. I miss you, sweetheart."

Ziva: "I miss you, too. Are you already in LA?"

Tony: "Yeah, just arrived. I'm in the car with the NCIS team, heading for work. I won't be able

to go to my hotel room until tonight."

Ziva: "Oh, alright. Well, I'm glad you called because I really do miss you."

Tony: "Zi, I'll be back in no time."

Ziva: "I know. Um, Ali asked me if she could send you a text with things you could bring home

for her."

Tony: "Sure. If I find the time I'll do that. Anything I can bring home for you, sweetheart?"

Ziva: "I'll think about it."

Tony: "Zi, I gotta go now. We're at work. I miss you and I'll call as soon as possible. I love

you, Ziva."

Ziva: "I love you, too."

[end call]

* * *

Ziva stared at her phone. Was it just her or had Tony sounded distracted? He had clearly chosen work over her. She put the cellphone into her pocket and walked back to the squad room, hoping that there would be a case to distract her. It was gonna be a long month.

* * *

**THIS IS IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!  
**As I already said in the first chapter: This is the 10th story in the Alison Series. So, I decided that it's time to reward you guys :)  
You get to decide what happens next in the Alison Series!  
Here's what you have to do: Send me a PM or tweet or tumblr message (twitter name and tumblr link on my profile) or leave a comment with YOUR idea for the next story in the Alison Series. It is important that you are as precise as possible. Like, don't just write "Tiva fight" or something. Give some examples and a short summary (really short! basically one or two sentences). And also give your idea a name, like "The Secret" or something.  
I'll then choose the best five ideas and put them into a poll. After that it's up to you: you'll vote for your favorite idea! The idea with the most votes will be one of (yeah, there might be one in between ;D) the next stories in the Alison Series!  
So, let the show begin! Send me your ideas (short summary and title!)! I'm looking forward to it! :)

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading and I hope you like it :)  
Next chapter should be up pretty soon :D In the meantime please let me know what you think in that little shiny comment box below :)  
And don't forget to send your ideas :D  
Love y'all  
~ C.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey there :) Sooo, thank you very much for all of your comments for the last chapter :) Also thanks for the first few ideas! :) Keep 'em coming!  
So, here's the next chapter :) Enjoy reading!  
**

* * *

About a week later Alison was at home, making dinner. Ziva had called to tell her that she'd be home really late because their current case was pretty intense. Suddenly the phone rang and Ali hurried over to answer it. The display said "Unknown caller" but Ali pressed the answer button either way.

* * *

[call]

Ali: "Hello?!"

Tony: "Hi it's Tony. Ali, is that you?"

Ali: "Yes. What's up, Tony?"

Tony: "Can I talk to Ziva?"

Ali: "She's not home. She called to tell me that she won't be home for quite some time cause

their case is pretty intense."

Tony: "Well she's not answering her phone either."

Ali: "She can't. You know that."

Tony: "Yeah.."

Ali: "What's wrong, Tony?"

Tony: "Nothing. It's just that I really need to hear her voice right now."

Ali: "Tony?! What happened?"

Tony: "I kinda drank a little too much last night and I'm afraid that today I.. Ali, I can't take it

anymore. I need to hear Ziva's voice."

Ali: "When you were drunk..did something happen?"

Tony: "NO! I swear to God, I would never betray Ziva like that!"

Ali: "Alright. Well, Ziva is a little upset because you didn't call much lately."

Tony: "But I send five texts a day. I couldn't call. I had to work all the time but it ruined me."

Ali: "Hey, Tony, listen to me, okay?! If I could I'd hug you right now. Ziva misses you a lot and

so do I."

Tony: "I know. I miss you, too, little one. I just wish I could talk to her."

Ali: "I'm gonna give Gibbs a call so I can talk to Ziva and then I'll tell her to call you, okay?!"

Tony: "You rock, Ali. Thank you, I owe you."

Ali: "No big deal. Just get me the stuff from the text message and we're even."

Tony: "Alright, Ali. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

Ali: "Bye Tony. Take care."

[end call]

* * *

Ali sighted as she hung up. Tony seemed to be _very_ desperate. She quickly dialed Gibbs' number. After just one ring the boss man picked up the phone: "Ali. Is something wrong?"

"Um, not exactly. But could you give the phone to Ziva. She's not picking up hers but I need to talk to her.", Ali told him. "What's this about?", Gibbs questioned. "Tony.", Ali simply said. There was silence for quite some time and Ali could hear him sigh.

"Alright, wait a sec. I'm handing the phone to Ziva.", he eventually said. Ali nodded even though she knew that Gibbs couldn't see it. "Ali?", she finally heard Ziva's voice. "Ziva! You need to call Tony. Right now.", Ali exclaimed immediately.

She heard her aunt sigh. "Ali, I'm not making the first move. He's probably busy right now so..", Ziva started but was cut off by Ali: "He called, Ziva. And he was kinda desperate to hear your voice, to talk to you. He's kinda screwed, Ziva."

"What happened?", Ziva demanded. "It's not my place to tell. Lets just say that you need to call him.", Ali declared. "Did he..?", Ziva started but Ali cut her off yet again: "No! You of all people should know that he'd never do that to you. He got drunk last night for God's sake. That's all."

It was quiet for a while before Ziva finally gave in: "Alright, I'll call him." "Now, Ziva.", Ali advised. "Yes. I'm gonna call him _now_. I'll see you later, Ali. Bye.", Ziva said and before Ali could even say her goodbyes the line went dead. Ali sighed and prayed to God that everything would be alright.

* * *

**THIS IS IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!  
~ YOU CAN STILL SUBMIT IDEAS UNTIL SUNDAY! KEEP 'EM COMING! THANKS! ~  
**_Here's what you have to do again ;)_**  
**As I already said in the first chapter: This is the 10th story in the Alison Series. So, I decided that it's time to reward you guys :)  
You get to decide what happens next in the Alison Series!  
Here's what you have to do: Send me a PM or tweet or tumblr message (twitter name and tumblr link on my profile) or leave a comment with YOUR idea for the next story in the Alison Series. It is important that you are as precise as possible. Like, don't just write "Tiva fight" or something. Give some examples and a short summary (really short! basically one or two sentences). And also give your idea a name, like "The Secret" or something.  
I'll then choose the best five ideas and put them into a poll. After that it's up to you: you'll vote for your favorite idea! The idea with the most votes will be one of (yeah, there might be one in between ;D) the next stories in the Alison Series!  
So, let the show begin! Send me your ideas (short summary and title!)! I'm looking forward to it! :)

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you like it :) Please let me know what you think in the comments section below! Thanks in advance! :)  
You guys ROCK!  
And keep your ideas coming! :)  
Love y'all  
~ C.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry I didn't update yesterday but I was crazy busy :( But yeah here's the next chapter! :) Enjoy reading (and please please PLEASE read the author's note at the bottom!)**

* * *

The next morning Ali walked into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes sleepily. It was Saturday and to her surprise it smelled like fresh rolls. Usually Tony was the one to get them.

"Ali! Good morning!", Ziva exclaimed, sounding very enthusiastic. Ali eyed her amused. "Why, good morning to you, too.", she said. "Take a seat. I made us breakfast.", Ziva offered.

Again Ali eyed her amused and gave her a questioning look. "Good talk with Tony last night?", she assumed. Ziva grinned: "Yes. It was..great to hear his voice again and stuff."

Ali smirked at the "and stuff". Either Ziva was picking up some phrases Ali often used or they had talked about some really serious stuff. "So, he explained everything?", she asked.

"Yeah, he told me how he couldn't really call because of work and why he got drunk.", Ziva replied, lowering her voice at the last part. Ali reached for Ziva's hand on the table and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"He really misses you.", she told her aunt. "I know.", Ziva replied, smiling sadly. Then she quietly added: "I just hate when he gets drunk. You know, when Jenny died he felt responsible so he got really wasted on more than one occasion. And I wasn't there to help him get through that time."

"Ziva, it wasn't your fault. Vance sent you away. What were you supposed to do?!", Ali assured her. Her aunt nodded: "I know." Ali thought about her next words carefully.

"Um, Ziva? Did Tony ever talk to you about the time when you were in Somalia, when he thought you were dead?", she questioned softly. Ziva raised an eyebrow.

"No. I mean, we barely talk about that time.", she replied. "Well, Abby once told me about it..", Ali carefully stated. Ziva gave her a look that clearly told her to go on with the story.

So, she did: "Apparently Tony didn't handle it well. After Gibbs told the team that the Damocles had sunk and there were no survivors Tony broke apart. Abby said that she had to get him sober on more than one occasion so he wouldn't get fired. Sometimes he even refused to eat anything and he didn't sleep much. Ziva, he's a mess without you."

Ziva looked down, obviously shocked by Alison's words. "When I saw him in that room in Somalia that day I asked him why he was there. He said he couldn't live without me.", she whispered.

It was a detail from that summer which she didn't talk about much. She certainly had never told Ali which was why her niece looked quite surprised. Ali gasped but tried to cover it up quickly.

"You never mentioned that.", Ali stated but as her aunt simply nodded she decided to drop the topic for now. "Well, I'm glad you called Tony last night.", she said, smiling.

"Me too. Thanks for convincing me.", Ziva thanked her niece. "By the way, what are you still doing at home? What about work?", Ali questioned. "Gibbs gave us the weekend off.", Ziva declared, sounding relieved.

A grin spread across Alison's face. "Shopping today, movie tomorrow?", she suggested, making her aunt laugh.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading :) I hope you like it!  
Okay, so a) you still have time to submit your ideas (Chapter 4!) until tomorrow! :)  
b) THANKS again for all the reviews and follows :) That means so much!  
c) Okay, here you get to choose what happens next: either the story just goes on or I write an additional chapter in between with Ziva calling Tony (either AGAIN and they talk about what Ali told Ziva or the call from the night before). You get to choose :) Well yeah the one with the most votes obviously wins :D So, let me know:  
1) Ziva calls Tony and they talk about what Ali told her  
2) I write the call from the night before for you guys  
3) the story just goes on  
You can let me know in the comments section below (yess anonymous comments are accepted ;D) and while you're at it let me know what you think about this chapter?! :D Thanks in advance! Looking forward to your requests ;)  
Love y'all  
~ C.  
P.S. If I have to write an additional chapter I can't promise it'll be up tomorrow but it'll totally be up Tuesday. ;) **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey y'all! So, I know I promised to either do the phone call or the other phone call or just go on, BUT I decided to do it differently. I decided to give you an impression of how Tony is holding up in Los Angeles with the team over there. (My apologies if you don't like NCIS LA but you really don't need to know it or like it or the characters for this chapter lol) The conversation (that ALL of you voted for) will be up after Tony comes back from LA. I really just think that it's better to have that conversation face to face instead of on the phone. I hope you understand.  
So, anyway, enjoy this chapter! :) (It takes place while Ali and Ziva talk in Chapter 5 :D)  
**

* * *

[same time, Los Angeles]

Tony walked into OSP in the morning, feeling better than on all the other days he'd been here. "Good morning!", he greeted his temporary teammates cheerfully.

"Oh, someone's in a good mood today", Callen teased and Sam laughed. "Actually, yes, I am.", Tony declared. Kensi grinned. She knew exactly why he was in such a good mood.

She had been the one who told him to call Ziva after all. Kensi gave Tony a knowing look and he winked. When he noticed Deeks' jealous expression he however paddled backwards: "Thanks again for convincing me, Kensi. It was good to call her."

Kensi nodded and smiled at him. It wasn't a big deal to her. "Oh man! You have a girl waiting for you at home?", Callen cut in. Tony grinned at him. Oh yes, he sure had.

However, he hadn't told anyone except Kensi. He didn't think it was necessary. His personal life was his personal life after all. "Man, and I always thought you and your partner would get together.", Sam cut in.

Tony grinned even wider and so did Kensi. If only they knew. "Well, we actually did.", he told everyone. "You ruined it?", Deeks asked in disbelieve. Tony eyed him amused.

Would that guy ever find the guts to tell _his_ partner how he felt? "No, I didn't. Who says she's not the one?", Tony said, grinning. "Someone owes me twenty bucks.", Sam said in a sing-song voice.

Callen groaned. "Seriously Sam? That was like _years_ ago!", he complained but Sam just grinned at him. Tony chuckled and turned over to Kensi. "Seriously, Kensi, thank you for convincing me. It was the right thing to do. I feel much better.", he thanked her again.

"It's no big deal, Tony. I know how much she means to you. We were the ones who found you in that bar after all. You told me everything about her.", she replied, laughing. Tony turned bright red.

"I didn't say too much, now did I?", he asked, clearly embarrassed. "Man, you told us about how you two did it. That was _really_ not necessary.", Deeks cut in, teasing him.

"_SO_ very funny, Deeks.", Tony complained. He actually hated it when people talked about that when it came to Ziva but this was different. Deeks had just been joking.

If he had _really_ told them that much, they already knew. "I was kidding, man!", Deeks laughed. Then he turned serious: "I'm really glad you worked it out. She seems to mean a lot to you and seriously, you were a mess."

He couldn't stop himself from adding: "In case you don't remember." Tony actually had to laugh at that. Yeah, he had been pretty wasted and damn lucky that Kensi and Deeks had found him in that bar.

"Well, yeah, she really does mean a lot to me. It took us long enough to figure it all out. I really couldn't imagine just being partners with her again. That's so not what we actually are. Everyone had known for years but we just couldn't find the guts to act upon those feelings. If Ali hadn't come around..I don't even wanna think about that.", Tony said.

He told their story on purpose. It was a broad hint! If they didn't get it now...God! Kensi glanced up at Deeks and he looked at her, both blushing a little. "There you have it, Sam! Now _you_ owe me _thirty_ bucks!", Callen cried out triumphantly.

Deeks whirled around. "You have a bet on us?", he questioned in disbelieve. However, when he realized what he had just said, he lowered his gaze embarrassed.

"Whoa relax, man.", Sam tried to defend himself and Callen. They exchanged a glance and then quickly ran off in the direction of the gym. "What the hell?", Deeks asked quietly, shaking his head and looking after the two of them.

Tony stepped closer to Kensi and whispered in her ear: "This is your chance. Don't miss it. It's worth it. May all the consequences be damned." He pulled back a little, smiled at her and then pressed a feather light kiss to her forehead.

Kensi smiled up at him. He was like a big brother to her, even though they hadn't really known each other for too long. He had probably learned that from Agent Gibbs.

When she had first seen him interact with his team she'd been stunned. They were all like a family. She mouthed "thank you" to Tony and then slowly approached Deeks from behind, touching his shoulder with her hand so he'd turn around and look at her.

Tony smiled to himself as he slowly left the room and headed up the stairs. Even though he'd loved to see the scene in the bullpen, those two needed their privacy now and if they were clever enough they'd leave the building anyways.

This conversation was not one you just have in the middle of your workplace. And he really didn't want to be late for his meeting with Hetty. You don't leave Henrietta Lange waiting after all.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading :)) Please let me know what you think in the comment box below!  
I really love all your comments, they make me sooo happy! THANK YOUUU!  
Also, please let me know if you understand/like my idea (which I've been talking about at the first author's note in this chapter :D) Thanks!  
Love y'all  
~ C.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I apologize for the unusual long wait! I hope you can forgive me ;)  
Thanks again for all your wonderful comments and follows and favorites :)) I really appreciate your support!  
Enjoy reading!**

* * *

On Wednesday Ziva was sitting in the squad room with Gibbs and McGee. She stared at the phone in front of her, hoping Tony would call. He'd sent tons of texts but he hadn't called since Monday.

"Ziva! What do you got on out victim's background?", Gibbs suddenly demanded. _Crap!_ Truth was she didn't have a single piece of information. "I, um..", she stammered.

"Big screen.", Gibbs ordered. Ziva stood up, her legs shaking. Gibbs would probably kill her. She smiled weakly at McGee as he handed her the remote.

She pressed a button and to her surprise everything about their victim popped up. "Petty Officer Mark Davis..", she started. When she was done Gibbs nodded and went to get some coffee.

Ziva looked at McGee. "Why did you..?", she started but he cut her off: "I did the research for you because you're my friend, Ziva. I know that Tony hasn't called since Monday and I know that this distracts you. It's no big deal, really."

She stared at him stunned. "Thank you, Tim", she said, "I owe you". He gave her a reassuring smile as he turned his attention back to his computer. Ziva on the other hand hurried off to the bathroom.

She splashed some cold water in her face and looked at her reflection in the mirror. 'Why the hell is his absence affecting me like this?', she asked herself. She sighed and walked back to the squad room, knowing that Gibbs was probably waiting.

* * *

As she rounded the corner she stopped dead in her tracks. The person she was least expecting to see was standing on the other side of the bullpen, smiling at her. It was Tony.

She ran towards him and right into his arms, hugging him close, her face buried in his shoulder to hide her tears. His strong arms pulled her closer as he whispered in her ear: "Shh, Zi, it's okay. I'm right here."

"Why..Why are you back?", she asked in between tears. "I can't live without you.", he murmured. She lifted her head to look him in the eyes and as she did his lips found hers in a passionate, almost desperate kiss.

"I worked really hard to get that stupid assignment done as soon as possible. And the whole team over there supported me.", he explained. "I love you.", he then told her softly but with a serious tone in his voice.

She smiled: "I love you, too." "Didn't I tell you to keep it out of the office?", Gibbs suddenly questioned. They looked at their boss, Tony's arm wrapped around Ziva's waist as she stood next to him.

"Actually, boss, I don't care right now.", Tony stated, grinning. Gibbs smirked. "It's good to have you back, DiNozzo.", he said as he clapped him on the shoulder.

Tony bit his lip at the sharp pain but tried to cover up. "Thanks, boss.", he managed to say with gritted teeth. "Tony! You were missed.", McGee declared.

"Yeah, I missed you, too, Tim.", he replied. McGee was surprised that Tony called him by his first name but didn't say anything of course. "Tony, what happened to your shoulder?", Gibbs demanded.

"Nothing, boss.", Tony lied but as his boss gave him one of his usual stares he admitted: "Just some knife. Nothing too bad. They have good doctors in LA." Ziva looked at him concerned.

"Really, Zi. I'm fine.", he promised. "DiNozzo, take some time time off. I don't wanna see you till Monday. You too, Ziva. Take care of him.", Gibbs ordered. "Are you sure, Gibbs?", Ziva asked.

"Yes. McGee and I can handle it and besides I got your phone number. Now off you go.", the boss assured them. Ziva grabbed her things and followed Tony to the elevator.

"I'm glad you're back.", she told him as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him gently. "Believe me, Zi, I'm glad as well.", he murmured against her lips, kissing her again.

* * *

**A/N: Tadaaaa! Who saw it coming? :D Oh well, this is definitely NOT the end! The next chapter is in progress and I hope I'll be done by tomorrow. :)  
In the meantime please leave me a comment, telling me what you think! As I'm still working on the next chapter you can also include suggestions I might take into account ;) Looking forward to it and thanks in advance :)  
Love y'all and remember "That which is essential is invisible to the eye" :D  
~ C.  
P.S. Please tell me I'm not the only person who died over a) the Tiva scene , b) the promo for next week, c) the fact that in the next episode Ziva will talk to Tony about Tali :D **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay! I've been crazy busy with school (and still am but I found some time). :( I hope you can forgive me!  
Well, thank you so much for all of your reviews and favorites and follows :) They make me SO HAPPY :)  
Also, thanks to everyone who read and reviewed/favorited my one-shot "Happy birthday, Tali" (tag to 10x07) :))))  
So, yeah, here's the next chapter and I hope you guys like it :) ENJOY READING!  
**

* * *

Ali was sitting on the couch, ice-cream in hand, watching TV when she suddenly heard someone at the door. Her instincts kicked in and she reached for her knife on her belt.

Ziva was supposed to be at work and she doubted that Gibbs would've let her leave earlier since there was a case. And Tony was in LA. So, who could it possibly be?

It _had_ to be some kind of a criminal. She set the ice-cream box on the table and quietly stood up from the couch. Holding her knife in front of her she slowly tiptoed over to the door of the living room.

Suddenly she screamed when a shadow appeared in front of her. "SHIT! You scared the hell outta me!", she accused. Ziva chuckled. "Sorry Ali, I know I should have called. I brought a special surprise though.", she apologized.

Just as Ali was about to argue Tony stepped out from behind Ziva and Ali's eyes widened. "Tony!", she squealed and leaped herself into his arms. He hugged her close and smiled brightly.

Yes, it was definitely good to be home again. And what made him even more happy was that Ali was trusting him more and more. Sure, she had trusted him from the beginning but she had those problems with being close to men.

He was kind of proud that she was opening up to him. And it made him incredibly happy to have such a wonderful "daughter" like Ali. As Ali pulled out of his arms to look at him he had to blink twice.

Did he see that correct? Was Ali crying? "Why are you back so early?", she asked, smiling. But even though she was smiling Tony could hear in her voice that something was definitely up.

"Ali, sweetie, are you crying?", Ziva asked concerned. Immediately Ali shook her head. "No! Of course not!", she lied. "Don't lie to me. I can see the tears.", Ziva said.

"Look, I just missed Tony, okay?!", she tried again but both Tony and Ziva could tell it was a lie again. Ali looked into Tony's eyes, trying to communicate with him without words.

"Ali, I brought you some stuff from that list. Wanna come with me and check it out?", he suggested, noticing that Ali was trying to get an opportunity to talk to him in private.

Ali looked over at Ziva. "Go! I'll prepare us some _proper_ food.", Ziva agreed laughing. "Hey! Are you saying that I don't know what proper food is?", Ali questioned, faking to be offended.

Ziva shook her head laughing and went over to the kitchen. Ali nodded at Tony and motioned for him to follow her. She headed straight to her room, Tony following her with the suitcase.

Once he shut the door behind them Ali plopped down onto the bed and buried her face in her hands. He looked at her concerned. What was wrong? And why did she want to discuss it with him instead of Ziva?

Was something wrong with Ziva? "Ali, please tell me what's wrong.", he whispered, kneeling down in front of her. "I might have told Ziva something I shouldn't have.", Ali admitted quietly, her voice shaking because she was crying.

Tony swallowed but tried to hide his nervousness. "I'm sure it's not that bad.", he assured her. "But it is!", she exclaimed and started crying all over again.

"Shh, Ali, calm down. Just tell me, okay?!", he whispered, having no idea how to deal with the situation. "I told her what Abby told me.", Ali murmured. Tony's eyes widened.

She couldn't possibly mean what he thought she meant. "Well, what did Abby tell you about?", he asked carefully. Ali looked up and straight into his eyes.

Her eyes were read from crying and tears were still trickling down her cheeks. Her mascara was blurred. "About the time when you thought Ziva had died on the Damocles.", she whispered. Tony gasped.

* * *

**A/N: CLIFFHANGER :D haha sorry this had to be done :D I hope I'll be able to update tomorrow but I have a really important exam on Monday, soo.. but I'll try! I promise!  
Please leave a comment and tell me what you think and what you wanna see next (it's not written yet so I'm open to any suggestions!) THANKS in advance :)  
Love y'all  
~ C.  
P.S. Who else died all over again because of the Tiva in this week's episode? :D (my one-shot says it all lol)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay! SO SO SORRY! I was crazy busy! I had all those exams and blaaah school sucks! :D Pleaseee don't hate me!  
Also I hurt my arm at fencing practice a couple days ago and it's really stupid because I can't use it. That's also why it took me so long to post this chapter even after the first part of the exams was over (part 2 starts next week lol). It just takes ages to type when you can only type with one hand.. :D  
Well anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter! :)  
**

* * *

There was silence in the room and Ali regretted telling Tony. But if she hadn't maybe Ziva would have talked to Tony about it and then she would have been screwed anyway.

She looked into Tony's eyes, silently begging him to say something. "You didn't.", he eventually whispered and she lowered her eyes, looking at the floor. Tony ran a hand over his face.

"You actually did.", he whispered to himself. "Look, Tony, I'm sorry. I just..", she tried. "Well how did you even come to speak about _that_ topic?", Tony questioned, now sounding a little less shocked.

He knew how much Ziva hated to talk about that summer and that was why she avoided talking about it. So, why had she talked to Ali about it? "She was worried about you.", Ali quietly admitted.

He looked at her confused so she explained: "After you got drunk that night in LA she talked to me about how she hated the way you were always making yourself responsible for everything and how you behaved in her absence."

"So, you told her what Abby told you.", Tony concluded. Ali nodded. It was quiet again until Ali eventually found the courage to ask what had been bothering her since that talk with Ziva: "The day you rescued her, you told her you couldn't live without her."

It was more a statement than a question but Ali seriously didn't know how to approach the topic. His eyes snapped up. "How do you know?", he asked. Well, yeah, Ziva had probably told her.

But then again: _Why_ had Ziva told her? "Ziva told me after I told her about what Abby said. I-I didn't now until then. You really said that?!", Ali whispered. Again Tony ran a hand over his face.

"Yeah, I told her I couldn't live without her. And it's true. That's why I behaved that way. That's why I was so screwed without her those past weeks in LA. I can't live without her. My life is pointless without her.", he admitted.

It felt weird to say it out loud but it was also really nice to finally talk about it with someone. Ali reached out her hand to touch his arm. She gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"You should talk to her about that summer.", she whispered. "Are you nuts?", he hissed. But Ali simply shook her head. "I can't just talk to her about it. She won't talk about that summer.", he said.

"But you want to talk about it.", Ali assumed. It was crystal clear that he wanted to talk about it. He wanted to finally get it off his chest. All the hidden pain, the fear. "Yeah, I guess.", Tony admitted quietly.

Ali gave his arm another squeeze. "Then do it. I'll go over to Ashley's place. You two need to talk.", she offered. Tony looked at her. "I don't know if..", he started but she cut him off: "Yeah, you'll never know unless you try."

He laughed and gave in. She had a point. He needed to at least try. "Tony, Ali, dinner is ready", they heard Ziva call from the kitchen. They got up and headed for Ali's room door.

"Go, Tony. Just tell her I'm off to Ashley's. Emergency or something.", she said as she walked out and straight to the front door. Just before she was about to walk out Tony grabbed her arm.

"Thank you.", he whispered. Ali smiled and just nodded as she walked out, leaving the two of them to finally talk about that summer.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's short. But it's for the best, trust me! Next chapter will be up...in the next few days (tomorrow hopefully, if I get it typed in with one hand lol). What do you wanna see happen in the talk Tony and Ziva (obviously) have in the next chapter? :) Let me know!  
Also please leave a review and tell me what you think! Any kind of feedback is greatly appreciate (constructive critizism too!) Thanks in advance :)  
Love y'all  
~ C.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: heyyy guys :) Sooo, here's the long-awaited chapter! :) I have to warn you though becauuuse  
a) It's devided into two chapters. I just felt like it was better to split it up. Makes more sense and is more emotional :) (DON'T KILL ME :D)  
b) You might need a kleenex (I sure did while writing this!).  
Now, enjoy reading!  
**

* * *

Tony's heart hammered in his chest as he walked into the kitchen. He saw Ziva standing at the sink, facing away from him. How could he possibly approach the topic he so desperately wanted, no _needed_, to talk about?

Just asking would be _wrong_. Ziva might seem like a tough person, someone who didn't get hurt easily, who never shed a tear. But that was so wrong. He'd seen a different side of Ziva more than once.

The vulnerable, insecure, _human_ side of her. He needed to be careful because, hell yes, he cared about her more than humanly possible. His thoughts were interrupted when Ziva turned around and faced him with one of her gorgeous smiles plastered on her face.

"Where's Ali?", she asked. Tony cleared his throat. "Um, she went over to Ashley's place.", he replied. "Oh, she didn't tell me. Whatever, she must have forgotten.", she murmured, more to herself than to Tony.

He took a step towards her. "So, what about that dinner you were talking about?!", he grinned. She smiled but somehow it seemed like a forced smile. He immediately grew concerned.

Tony reached out to grab her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Ziva, are you alright?", he asked softly. She looked up into his eyes and bit her lower lip.

Tony got really worried. What the hell was wrong with her? Did something happen that even Ali didn't know about? "Can we talk?", she eventually whispered.

He grabbed her other hand as well and nodded, then walked them over to the couch, the dinner completely forgotten. They sat down and Tony pulled her closer until she was practically sitting in his lap.

He brushed a lock behind her ear and looked into her eyes, searching for the answers to all the unspoken questions. "Zi, what is it? Please talk to me.", he pleaded, his voice soft and loving.

Ziva sighed and shifted uncomfortably in his lap but he held onto her for dear life. He needed her to be close to him if they were going to have this conversation.

Not only for her own good but for his sake as well. He needed the reassurance that she was here, here with him, nowhere else. Eventually Ziva faced him and quietly said: "Ali told me about how you handled my absence the summer I was in..Somalia."

He lowered his gaze and felt like crying. _Pull it together, DiNozzo_, he told himself. He needed to be strong – _for her_. Tony forced himself to look up but regretted it the moment he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"Look, Ziva, I'm sorry, I should have told you.", he apologized. But she shook her head: "No, Tony. It's not that you didn't tell me." Oh great, it was heading in the direction he was trying to avoid.

He didn't say anything though but waited for her to explain. "She told me how wasted you got, how you basically gave up your life.", she finally said. Tony sighed.

It was time for him to open up to her. It wasn't fair to keep those things locked away from her. "Remember when I told you that one day I told Gibbs 'no' and that was how your rescue mission started?", he questioned softly.

He was scared to death, he was sure as hell gonna pee his pants. When she nodded, he continued: "I thought you were dead, Ziva. All I wanted to do is kill the bastard who killed you. I wanted revenge. I didn't care that I would probably get myself killed. I really didn't care."

Ziva stared at him. "But your plan. Where did that come from?", she wanted to know. "I wanted to make sure that at least McGee got out alive. He didn't deserve to die.", he lied.

He prayed to God that she wouldn't detect the lie. It would be too... "The truth, Tony.", she interrupted his thoughts.

He sighed but told her anyway: "I really thought you were dead but my..my heart..I just didn't want it to be true. Somewhere deep inside I had this hope that you'd still be alive which was _crazy _of course but I..I just.." He trailed off.

She got what he meant. He really didn't need to re-open those wounds. "It was a miracle that you were still alive and I-I thought I was already dead when I saw you. It felt so unrealistic. But then when you started talking..Ziva, I swear, I've never been more happy in my life.", he whispered.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and her fingers brushed his skin. "You could have died.", she murmured but before she could even think about continuing he whispered: "And still it was the happiest moment of my life."

Her lips turned up into a sad smile and her eyes started to water. There were a few seconds of silence until Ziva broke it: "Ali also told me about..well, before you told Gibbs 'no'." Tony nodded.

Now that one of his biggest secrets, if one could call it a secret, was out he needed to tell Ziva the rest as well. It was only fair. She deserved to know the truth. No matter how hard it was.

"The moment we left you in Tel Aviv..I've never been that heartbroken. And it was all my fault.", he started. "It wasn't your fault, Tony. Don't blame yourself. It was all my father's fault. And mine because I didn't defy him.", she insisted.

He eyed her confused. He had never hear her talk about it being her father's fault. She'd always just blamed herself. Now was not the time to ask though, he needed to get his story out first, then he was gonna ask her.

So, he went on with his part of the story: "The following weeks were..hell. I felt lifeless. It just..it didn't make any sense. With you gone I felt empty, there was a part of me missing. At that time I didn't realize how big of a part it actually was but I knew it was meaningful."

He swallowed hard before continuing: "Eventually Abby and McGee started to track you for me. And they found you. On the Damocles. But then Gibbs told us that the Damocles had sunk – and there were..no survivors. The moment he told us my whole world stopped. I couldn't even think. Everybody was talking, trying to calm themselves and me down. It was horrible. I wasn't even able to place any voices. I just..I couldn't. I had just been told that..you..that you were.._dead_."

He took a couple deep breathes. It still hurt like hell to talk about it, to relive that summer. He tightened his grip on her. At this point he was sure his grip was painful for her but if it was, she didn't show it.

Instead her fingertips brushed his skin at his neck again. Tears were glistening in her eyes and even though he refused to admit it, he could feel tears burning in his own eyes as well.

"In that moment I realized that I had lost the love of my life. And I couldn't life with myself for..not telling you..how much I love you. From that day on everything was a blur. I got so wasted that I didn't remember my own name. But no matter how much I drank there was one name I simply couldn't forget. Yours. No matter how much I drank, when someone came to pick me up and asked me what had happened I told them 'I love you, Ziva' and when they asked if they should take me home I told them 'I will always love her'. Abby and McGee were really worried about me. I remember that much. I can thank Abby that I kept my job that summer. She was basically my hero.", he told Ziva.

Tears were now streaming down her face but still, she didn't say a single word. And to be honest, he was grateful she didn't because that would have made it so much harder.

"I eventually realized that there was no point in living anymore so I came to Somalia to take your murderer down even if it was the last thing I did.", he said.

"But then..there you were. Alive. Breathing. And what I told you then was the complete truth. I..", he added quietly but trailed off. "Couldn't live without you, I guess.", Ziva whispered, quoting his words from that day in Somalia.

He nodded and now he couldn't hold back the tears that spilled out of his eyes. "I still can't, Ziva, I..can't.", he whispered, so quietly it was almost not audible.

But Ziva heard it and that was all that mattered. She tightened her arms around him and buried her face in the crook of his neck, letting the tears stream down her face.

His arms pulled her closer than humanly possible and he breathed in her scent. There was no point in holding his own tears back either, so he let them flow.

There they sat, in each others arms, crying and trying to comprehend all the bottled up feelings from that summer that had just come to the surface. Little did they now that this was just the tip of the iceberg.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know. Evil cliffy. But come on, it's not that evil.. :D  
Please please pleaseeee leave a review and let me know what you think! I'm really nervous about this chapter because you know, Somalia is a very touchy subject and it's SO tricky to write. So, pleaseee, give me some feedback. Honest feedback. Constructive critizism too. Thanks in advance.  
Next chapter will be up asap and it will feature the second part of their conversation. Until then..  
Love y'all  
~ C.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm so very sorry for the delay - again. School is stupid lol ;D I had all those exams and had to study A LOT. I guess you all know how it is lol  
Well, anyway. As I promised, here's the second part of the Somalia convo and as most of you might guess...it has something to do with Ziva's part of the story. It is however NOT what you would expect. Definitely not. I'm pretty certain none of you saw this coming :D I hope the lenght makes up for the delay lol ;)  
ENJOY READING! :)  
**

* * *

Ziva was still sobbing into Tony's shirt when he gently tried to push her away. He needed to ask the one question that had been bothering him. Well that one and..the one that had been bothering him for years now.

He wasn't quite sure of how to phrase it. The chances of it coming out entirely wrong were too high to risk. But still, he had to do it. He needed to know. He decided to go with the easier question first.

He pushed her a little more until she was finally facing him again. It broke his heart to see her like this. Her eyes were red from crying and tears were still streaming down her face, her mascara just a black mess.

However, it was killing him even more to know that his next words would probably make it even worse for her. He considered not asking her. But he just needed to know.

He needed her to tell him. She looked into his eyes, obviously searching for the reason he had pushed her away. Tony cleared his throat nervously. "Ziva, um, earlier when you said that it was your..your father's fault..what did you mean by it?", he finally managed to ask.

Ziva flinched a little and stared at him. She looked scared and he seriously regretting even addressing the topic. He wrapped his arms tighter around her waist and started drawing small circles on her back with his thumbs.

Just when he was about to backpedal she started talking: "It's gonna be a little..painful..for both of us. But..if you're willing to hear it, I will tell you." He swallowed hard.

What did he have to do with it? Sure, he would feel bad for her and it would hurt him to see her hurt but the way she had said it..it sounded like it directly involved him.

And then it hit him. She was gonna start with the Rivkin disaster. Damn it! He really didn't want to go there. But then again, if he wanted to know the answers to his questions, he needed to accept whatever it took.

If she needed to start there then he would have to deal with it. And there was no reason to fear anything – she was here after all, with him. Tony swallowed hard and then nodded.

Ziva looked into his eyes. She wasn't sure if it was such a good idea to put him through all of this pain. It was bad enough that she knew the whole story. She really didn't need anyone else to have to go through everything as well.

_Oh, stop it._, she told herself. This was Tony after all. She trusted this man with her life and _hell_ he'd already sacrificed _everything_ for her. He deserved to know the truth, all the things she'd kept bottled up inside for years.

Ziva sighed and started to talk, knowing full well that her next words could change everything between them: "The whole thing with Rivkin..it was all a..setup." Immediately she felt Tony letting go of her, his hands leaving it's place at her waist.

She lowered her gaze, not able to look into his eyes that reflected the disappointment, the shock. However, she still _felt_ his gaze and it was horrible. She hated this feeling but most of all she hated herself.

How could she have ever let her father do this? She should have fought it. She should have told him 'no'. But then again, who told Eli David 'no'..and got away with it?

Sure, she was his daughter but for him it surely didn't change a single thing. He had never really seen her as his daughter but more as his tool. Ziva's thoughts were interrupted when Tony suddenly pushed her away, hard.

She jumped off of his lap and stumbled backwards. She sure as hell hadn't expected that. Well, she sure had expected some sort of angry reaction but _not _like this.

Apparently her words _had_ ruined everything between them. Tony got up from the couch as well and took two hesitant steps towards her. "A setup?", he repeated in a voice that she had never heard from him.

She fiddled with her fingers and still wasn't able to face him. If only he hadn't pushed her away. It would be so much easier to have this conversation if his arms were wrapped around her.

But right now she felt like he was rejecting her, _dumping her_. "You're kidding, right?!", Tony whispered in a very broken voice. She shook her head, still looking down.

Tears were streaming down her face. She just couldn't stand it. "A setup? A SETUP? Ziva, you have _got_ to be kidding me! What was it about? Tell me! Just spit it out!", he suddenly yelled.

She took a step backwards and her head snapped up, her eyes meeting his. She was scared, like, really scared. She had never seen him this furious. Ziva begged him with her eyes to stop.

He took another step towards her and suddenly he was close enough to make her freak out. She totally lost control. How the hell was she able to control it after all?

He was furious, his eyes were hard and it scared her to death, one could tell that he was about to yell again and he was getting closer and closer. It was simply too much.

Ziva's eyes widened and she was _scared _of her own boyfriend, partner, best friend,_soul mate_. Tony noticed that she was starting to panic and tried to make things right.

He must have pressed the wrong buttons. He reached out his arm to touch her, to pull her into his arms and try to calm her down. But the only thing Ziva saw was someone trying to touch her, not _Tony_ trying to touch her.

She screamed and slid down to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs, sobbing uncontrollably. "Ziva!", she heard Tony's voice yell. He sounded worried.

"Ziva, please!", she heard his voice again. She slowly opened one eye and looked around. _Oh God, please, no_, Ziva thought. The thing she'd always feared had actually happened.

She had had a panic attack – in front of Tony. She looked up and she found him kneeling in front of her, a concerned expression on his face. She stared into his eyes.

"Can you just _please_ hold me?", she whispered, hating how desperate she sounded. A tear rolled down his cheek, making her hate herself even more, hating herself for breaking down in front of Tony and making him worry.

He reached his arm out, not wanting to push her. Ziva leaped forward and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. His arms went around her waist immediately in a very protective manner.

Eventually she stopped sobbing into his shirt and pulled away a little to look into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Tony, so so sorry.", she whispered. "God, Ziva, no! It is I who am sorry.", he told her, not realizing at first how much meaning those words held.

It were the same words she had used when they had first talked after they had rescued her. "It was..just all too much. I..that was a panic attack.", she admitted quietly.

His fingers wove through her hair, trying to soothe her. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I was just kind of..shocked.", he told her. She nodded.

"I know. I should have told you but most of all I should have fought for you. I should have told my father 'no'. His orders were for me to pretend to have a relationship with Rivkin to make you jealous so you would make a mistake and..hopefully, as my father put it..kill him. Rivking agreed to do this..suicide mission..because he just..you can't tell my father 'no'. I didn't even really like Rivkin but as I said..you can't defy Eli. I have no idea what Eli wanted to achieve but it was all about..hurting you and..getting me away from you. He had gotten suspicious the summer Gibbs was in Mexico and he didn't like the idea of me being..close to you. He didn't..approve. But when he saw how Gibbs was still on your side when we went to Tel Aviv, he..told me to..go on that..mission. I should have told someone. I should have fought. But I..was..scared.", she finally spilled out.

It took a while for Tony to comprehend what he had just heard. It was a lot to take in after all. "Ziva, you should have told me. But, seriously, I don't blame you. I get why you couldn't. But I need you to know how sorry I am. The summer Gibbs was in Mexico..", he started but was cut off by Ziva's lips on his.

"Don't say it was a mistake, Tony.", she whispered and grinned at him, making him grin right back at her as he claimed her lips once again.

* * *

**A/N: CLIFFY :D Sorry, but I couldn't resist :D I know I'm evil ;)  
Aaaanyway..I hope you like it :) Did you see it coming? Was it a complete surprise? :D I don't really know how it came into my mind but it just did and yeaaah.. PLEASE tell me what you think in the reviews! :) Thanksssssssssssss in advance! I'd really appreciate to hear your feedback!  
Also, suggestions for the next chapter are VERY welcome :) I'll try to update asap :) But I have a maths exam coming up next week (at the beginning of next week though ;D).  
Love y'all!  
~ C.**  
**P.S. I wanna say hi to Ruth and Jas :) You guys are the best :)) x33**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I'm so so sorry for the delay! I've been crazy busy with school and everything and then I wrote the Alison Holiday story, ya know, the whole NYC thing. I just didn't find the time to write this. SORRY!  
Anyway, here's the FINAL chapter. Enjoy reading. :)**

* * *

"I'd never say it was a mistake. It was just..not really thought through?!", Tony tried to backpedal. Ziva laughed: "Of course it wasn't. If I remember correctly, you basically just showed up at my door."

He pressed a kiss to the side of her head. He didn't really wanna think about it. But maybe finally talking about it would help. You couldn't keep things bottled up inside forever after all. And the Somalia talk had certainly helped.

"It was a horrible day. I mean, Gibbs left and..", he started. "Are you sure you wanna do this?", Ziva asked, her voice laced with concern. He simply nodded and she intertwined their fingers, giving him all the reassurance he needed.

He took a deep breath and then continued: "I felt betrayed and..lost. I didn't know what to do. The entire team just seemed to be too upset over Gibbs leaving to even notice how bad this was for me. And I felt like they didn't trust me."

"Then why did you come to my place?", she wondered. His free arm tightened around her waist. "I knew you were the only person who would be able to offer me the comfort I needed.", he admitted quietly.

"Tony, the only thing we did that night was sit on the couch and watch a movie. We barely talked.", she said softly, then she added in a low voice: "Nor did we do any..other things."

Tony leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear: "I even loved you back then. Being close to you was enough comfort." She shivered. Having him so close to her and feeling his breath on her skin sent tingles through her body.

Apparently he noticed this and he pressed a feather light kiss to her neck, making her tremble. It was unfair how he could do that to her. "What about the following weeks?", she managed to get out.

"Ziva, it was _not _a mistake. I didn't mean it that way and you know it.", he assured her. Taking another deep breath he continued: "The kiss on the second night..I meant it. It wasn't just a desperate action."

Her eyes snapped up to meet his. She'd always thought he hadn't meant it. Back then, he was the player. Sure, she'd fallen for it but she'd always thought it had meant nothing to him. Apparently she had been wrong.

"It..meant something to you?", she stuttered, needing to hear it from him. "Ziva, it meant everything.", he whispered, his eyes welling up. She couldn't quite believe her ears.

Back then she had thought that he hadn't felt anything. She sure had but she never said anything because she was afraid to get rejected. Back then it had seemed like..her job to offer him this kind of comfort.

To allow him to kiss her every now and then, to hold her in her sleep. It had never accrued to her that he'd actually meant it and felt something. She felt tears in her eyes again and hated herself for being that vulnerable tonight.

But she couldn't help it. "I thought it meant nothing to you! I thought..you were just..fooling around, using me.", she admitted. Tony's eyes widened. "Ziva.", he whispered and then pulled her against his chest, holding her close until her sobbing decreased.

"Hey, look at me.", he instructed. She locked her eyes on his and he pressed a tender kiss to her lips. "Why did you not stop me then?", he asked.

She lowered her gaze again and then murmured: "I knew you were hurting. All I wanted was for you to be happy again. And if it meant to allow you to kiss me every now and then and hold me at night..I didn't mind. Actually, I..I loved it. Because I loved you."

He gently lifted her chin with his thumb. "We're idiots.", he declared, laughing. She laughed as well. "Romantically dysfunctional.", she murmured.

"I'm sorry I broke it off back then. I got scared after Mossad found out.", she then quietly apologized. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "No need to apologize. It wasn't your fault. I understand.", he told her.

But she shook her head. "No! I should have fought for you!", she exclaimed. He rubbed his hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her. "Ziva, it's okay. It's in the past. We're both here now. Lets just be happy that we have this and not worry about the past okay?!", he murmured.

She nodded against his chest. They were quiet for a while. Eventually Tony broke the silence. "Zi? I'm glad I have you.", he whispered. She wasn't really sure what to say. He knew she was glad as well, after all.

So, instead of saying anything, she just kissed him again, laying all her love in that particular kiss. Actions speak louder than words after all.

* * *

**A/N: Tadaaaa, there you have it! :) I know, it's not the best end and stuff but...yeah :D  
Thanks for your continued support! I really do appreciate it! :) Please leave a final review to let me know what you think of the story altogether :) Thanks in advance.  
Also, as I already mentioned in the final author's note of the NYC story, I have another Ali story basically ready to start :D The first chapter is already done. If you wanna see it, let me know in the reviews :D  
Love y'all and thank you :)  
~ C.**


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